Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
