I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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