it was like his penis was on wheels.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
