New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.