In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers