sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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