she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though