Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize