New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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