That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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