fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
i out mim tonsoeep
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