You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
