make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
she told me i tasted like america
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
