bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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