I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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