tell your sister to shave her snatch
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize