oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
