do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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