At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
