There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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