my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
