Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
