Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Randomize
