I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
