when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
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