i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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