Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
