Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Your dad touched me again.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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