every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
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I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
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Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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