The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize