I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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