At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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