Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Randomize
