listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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