My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
