haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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