just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
