i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
