i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
