MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We're too hungover to prance.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
