One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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