I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
