also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
