thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
