Pants 0. Shit 1.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Randomize
