So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
