dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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