So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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