right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
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Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
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You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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