It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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