I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
