And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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