My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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