If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
