im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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