I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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