I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
