sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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