I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
