So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
one might say we're banned from that church
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
