Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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