I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
