hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
