C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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