so that wasnt chicken after all
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
